Twitter Males Solve Sexism: Case Study: Selective Tolerance

Twitter Males Solve Sexism: Case Study: Selective Tolerance

March 29, 2015

Grab a snack, this is a long one!

Phew! No need to worry our pretty little heads about that pesky sexism stuff (that’s sarcasm wrapped in snark which is different than demeaning & insulting because you cannot demean & insult an abuser).

Friday afternoon when the Ellen Pao sex discrimination retaliation verdict was released finding in favor of her former employer Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers it’s not surprising her name began trending on Twitter.  I say not surprising because in short a female lost against the good ole boy network and sexist males from all across the country came out in force to claim victory.  To help support that claim it’s not surprising Ellen Pao’s case wasn’t trending during the trial or prior to the trial. And to further still support that claim I’ll use actual examples from Twitter.

Robert Stacy McCain

Let’s keep this checklist in mind when reading the Twitter portion of the all male

(with the exception of one female) responses regarding sexism.

Here’s a good rule of measure and the premise for this next Case Study:  Selective Tolerance  

Anytime someone works in a field traditionally and statistically supported disproportionately towards one race/gender/religion/age group there’s a heightened chance of abuse towards the minority from the majority who will resort to tactics from The Sociopathic Business Model™ as a means of manipulating the truth.

Some (abusers) will disagree with this next part but people have to personally experience prolonged abuse working as a minority* (race/gender/religion/age group) in order to gain credibility and true sympathy to that particular situation.  So before you become blinded by your own rage-read on:

*minority for the purpose of this Case Study encompasses more than just race

Case Study: Selective Tolerance

For this exercise you’ll need to pull from your career and in this Case Study career means when you worked for someone else (20+ employees) for at least two years in the same or similar industry.  This exercise only works if: you’re honest with yourself. (The lies we tell ourselves are always far worse than any ever told to us).  Also keep in mind the questions below are explaining and not complaining about problem (there is a difference-abusers try to exploit this through manipulation of facts). I’d also like to invite the men who engaged on Twitter to actively participate in this exercise (although I won’t hold my breathe).

Here’s a series of questions you need to ask yourself as you work through the Case Study: Selective Tolerance:

Have you ever been the minority regarding your race in the workplace?

Have you ever been the minority regarding your sex in the workplace?

Have you ever been the minority regarding your religion in the workplace?

Have you ever been the minority regarding your age in the workplace?

I will apologize in advance for again (twice in one week) using myself as an example as part of a Case Study-but I know this information and am using it to illustrate the premise:

Donald Douglas apparently is not a white male (it’s ok my he woulda passed at my former companies) meaning sexism trumped racism*.

Have you ever been the minority regarding your race in the workplace?

No. For those that don’t know I’m a white female.  And it’s embarrassing to admit that it took my own workplace abuse to identify or recognize just how “white” my former industry of years 13+ really was.

Pharma: 1999-2001

Executives: 100% White

Managers:  97% White 3% Other

Reps:  99% White 1% Other

Med Device: 2001-2004

Executives:  100%

Managers:  97% 3% Other

Reps:  99% 1% Other

Startup Med Device:  2004-2012

Executives:   99% White 1% Other*

Managers:     97% White 3% Other*

Reps: 97% White 3% Other*

*I use the term other not to demean or insult racial minorities when in fact the opposite is true and in memory over 13 years unable to give an exact correct percentage but the two largest (if it can be called that) subsets were African American and Asian.

To learn more about the differences between Pharma/Med Device/Startup Med Device.

And if he’s trying to demean & insult (which it’s pretty obvious he is) my name is actually Melayna so no need for quotes I think what he’s “questioning” is if I’m a “lady,” one to the likes of which he’ll never know.

A licensed trained psychologist, during three year treatment for workplace abuse, taught me to recognize insecurity not only in myself but in males likely displayed by Donald Douglas’ own action which demonstrates he does not think enough of his own opinion and feels the need to pull in what he feels is a stronger male to defend from someone forcing accountability on abusers. The need for a pack mentality is common among insecure abusers. (bully/threaten/intimidate/not used to be challenged)

I was successful before my wrongful termination, will be again and work every day to make that a reality.

Have you ever been the minority regarding your gender in the workplace?

Yes. And while pharma does show more of a balance among my peer group of reps I was still a minority as it pertained to managers who made decisions regarding promotions as was the case throughout my entire career.

Pharma: 1999-2001

Executives: 100% Male

Managers:  80% Male 20% Female

Reps:  50% Male 50% Female

Med Device: 2001-2004

Executives:  100% Male

Managers:  97% Male 3% Female

Reps:  99% Male 1% Female

Startup Med Device:  2004-2012

Executives:   99% Male 1% Female

Managers:     95% Male 5% Female

Reps: 91% Male 9% Female

Gender discrimination/retaliation is in-part responsible for the creation of the website.

Have you ever been the minority regarding your religion in the workplace?

No. The upside to working for a Godless/soulless industry but those that mentioned God, were regularly mocked by the majority.

And, sometimes by another minority justified due to the hypocrisy of using religion as a shield hide behind as they insult & demean women in the workplace=example of snark towards an abuser who cannot be insulted or demeaned.

Have you ever been the minority regarding your age in the workplace?

No.  But if I’d remained in the industry I have no doubt I would have been pushed out as it was common talk that “no one wants to see a 50-year old female rep in the OR.”

Again, let’s remember these numbers are based off my personal career with particular companies and may not stand up against national averages (but I have a feeling the diversity reports across the industry are similar).

And now for the discussion that divides so many:

Example:

I personally have a documented fact-based history of gender discrimination and retaliation supported by peers in the industry, EEOC attorneys and a licensed psychologist along with my empathy it adds to my credibility when speaking about gender discrimination in the workplace; however, it does not give me the right to speak empathetically about race discrimination, religious discrimination or age discrimination because I have not experienced those.

I can reasonably however combine empathy from my own gender discrimination along with fact based evidence which supports the existence of race discrimination, religious discrimination and age discrimination.

The problem remains when extreme abusers think they have credibility to lend to an argument:

Selective Tolerance is when a subset of people (abusers) want others (victims) to see their side of the argument devoid of fact or credibility, without empathy or sympathy (because they are not capable of experiencing empathy or sympathy) but will bully, demean & insult, while manipulating the facts to try and make their point because they do not like to be challenged. Selective Tolerance in-part encompasses the extremes mentioned on the above infographic (*when a “victim” is actually an abuser using the word “haters“).

And the one woman who defended Robert Stacy McCain’s position was formerly in the Navy for 20 years and had a tough time ever admitting to any workplace abuse (extremes are usually a red flag). It took me a long time to learn that tolerating abuse because it’s the price you pay to play with the boys wasn’t strength-it was weakness void of honesty.  

The Pentagon said in May 2013 that at least 26,000 service members said they were a target of unwanted sexual contact last year, but only 3,374 incidents were reported. Gawker

Thank you to site reader Ray Gordon whose observations & comment helped me better refine what I wanted to say to readers of the target audience.

I have a feeling Robert Stacy McCain, Donald Dennis, Tony McLean and the rest of the Twitter gang that decided to pile on don’t see themselves as abusers.  Funny thing though, if you’ve never experienced abuse on any level, I always say then let the rest of us had you a mirror, so you can see who the abuser in every other person’s life is (personal or professional).